In case you missed the coolest hockey television program since the Stanley Cup Finals.

The first episode aired tonight. Here is our running reaction from start to finish. You’ll feel like you were watching it with us.

So thrilled right now.

Adult language warning pops up. If Malkin swears, I’m going to faint.

Penguins introduced first. “Love affair with the team transcends generations…”

Spell binding introduction. It could stop now and I’d be happy.

Fort Pitt Tunnel. Wooooooo. Love that view.

Coach Bylsma’s address. “Grind these bitches down.” Oh wow, I want to play for Coach.

This is the coolest show I’ve ever seen.

Gene smiling. An angel just got his wings. Gene making fun of Crosby. Forty angels just got their wings.

Dr. Burke! I coached his sons at Central Catholic.

Five goals. Four fights. What a squad.

Washington

Bouds is so fat! He looks like a budget Santa Claus. Pandering to the HBO cameras. What a joke.

“Coaching is like parenting.” Okay, Bouds.

Ovechkin’s #8 beanie is so foolish, but it is hilarious/endearing that they refer to him as Sasha.

PITTSBURGH

The Consol Energy Center is such a palace.

Letang still has the best hair of any human ever.

Matt Cooke telling MAF to “F off” is priceless.

Mustache boy shooting competition. Super special.

WASHINGTON

Those double tramp stamps are so embarrassing.

Beninati’s voice makes the show. F.

Good for Backstrom giving back to the community.

Alexandria, Virginia shout out! I was born there.

PITTSBURGH

I know where Talbot’s house is in the South Side. It is so recognizable. Why would HBO show that?

Christmas holiday party. Family first. What an organization.

Players being ranked after each game. I love it.

WASHINGTON

Nooooooooo. Not Ted. Nooooooooooo. He is the worst human ever. Thinks they can make the playoffs for a decade plus. What a joke. You’re the owner. Shut up.

Bouds, “What the f?” Priceless.

Bouds calling out his team for not being able to handle adversity. True story. Mental weak in Washington. At least 49 F bombs used in two minutes. “Go out and f-ing want it…surely the F we can deal with this.”

Bouds elbowing the glass and screaming F. This is so enjoyable.

What idiot Capitals fan bought an Erskine uniform? Are you kidding me?

PITTSBURGH

Dupes has a cat. Come on buddy. Oh, he quickly makes up for it be making fun of Buffalo and Crosby.

Dupes says, “F you, Geno,” for no reason.

Geno’s sweater/shirt combo.

“Suck it, Talbo,” followed by, “Max is a douche,” MAF. Not camera shy.

Moving Ben Lovejoy’s hotel furniture into the hallway. (His brother plays for Virignia.)

And that was so much fun. Let’s go to the misery in Washington.

WASHINGTON

Random Capitals player has the flu and decides to walk around without a shirt on and no shoes. Smart.

Who is Matt Hendricks?

Mike Green’s tattoos are almost as regrettable as Ovechkin’s.

How many teams have won a Stanley Cup with an average goalie?

Ovechkin joking about an Avalanche player’s sensitive skin. Tip top.

PITTSBURGH

Can Gene get more air time? Jesus.

Letang’s hair. Incredible.

Look at that Sweet Russian Prince.

“Can I play?” – Gene (I’m dying.)

“Can I play?” – Gene (I’m dying.)

“Can I play?” – Gene (I’m dying.)

“Can I play?” – Gene (I’m dying.)

“Can I play?” – Gene (I’m dying.)

I love this team.

“12 is better than 11,” Coach Bylsma

WASHINGTON

Yes, they are in New York. Ovechkin rumbling.

The away locker room in MSG is silly cramped.

Whoa…whoa…Dubinsky told Ovechkin he needed his beard back after the first period.

Poor Bouds. “I’m f-ing sick and tired of losing.”

Good job buddy exchanged between the two after the fight.

Ovechkin also screamed this at the bench.

Players told to “grab their sack” during the intermission.

How much air time did Semin get? Thought so. Joke.

Final thoughts

You can hear Ovechkin’s chains bang whenever the audio focuses on him on the ice.

This is my favorite show on television by 399352359235.

I can’t wait to be inside Heinz Field for the Winter Classic.