Guest Post: Hosted by Sorostitute Stories
It’s like sneaking a look into your broad’s Cosmo, only its 2010, and it’s her blog. And it’s hilarious.
Writing can be a lonely existence. Slaving over parchment with your favorite quill until the candle burns out. Not really. But, sort of.
That’s why it’s always a joy when 412 Lax introduces us to another human being. Of course, it’s a huge bonus when that other person happens to be a fellow word craftsmen. Ten points when said craftsman is a female. Forty points when when said craftswoman is well dressed and hilarious.
I don’t really recall how we came across @Sorostitutes on Tweet Tweet, likely divine intervention, but we’ve been nothing short of mesmerized ever since. Unreal tweet tweets. Next level blog posts covering everything from tailgating to fashion.
It was only a matter of time before we secured an interview. You can laugh. We won’t tell anyone.
412: To protect some reputations of several parties, the authors are going to remain anonymous. Would you be able to tell us the school or athletic conference you attend?
SS: Well, it doesn’t really matter since we don’t go to class. We have a test bank at the sorority house and boyfriends to study with. As long as we find a nice doctor, stockbroker, or trust fund baby to marry and multiply with, we don’t really anticipate leaving the kitchen for the rest of our lives.
412: How many writers are responsible for the blog?
SS: Seven sorostitutes write for the blog. In one of our very first blogs, we realized that we each play a role in group dynamics, and that most sorostitutes around the country relate to. We have Slampiece, our resident mean girl and wrangler of fratstars. Then there is Tease who makes it her business to flirt, lead on, and make out with as many fratties as possible. Mom is the overseer of all alumni. She gives us advice and keeps up with Greek gossip while we study. Functional Alcoholic is, well, a functional alcoholic. She is our go-to girl for a night out or a cosmo recipe. Southern Belle reminds us on daily basis how to act prim and proper, like right out of the latest issue of Southern Living. No Shame and Bad-Homance haven’t posted yet but they have some interesting stories about dabbling in GDIs, drinking too much, and causing trouble… which is what we all do best.
412: When did you begin writing?
SS: No Shame and Tease brought up the idea at work over the summer. When we told Slampiece about it, she thought it was hilarious. A few weeks later, around August, we wrote down the rules we follow and things just started flowing.
412: The first month or so for 412 Lax was terrifying as we developed a following and became comfortable with our tone and content. How have things changed for you since the beginning?
SS: The best thing we did from the very beginning was writing for ourselves. Never did we think other fratdaddies, bros, broads, and sorostitutes would think that our stories were funny. We would love to post more but we decided early on not to force posts that aren’t good, we only post when we feel inspiration strike (aka when something hilarious happens). When we made our twitter account, we gained a lot of followers relatively quickly. That’s when we started feeling pressure to be witty and say “cool-girl” things. But at the end of the day, we just kept going with what we were doing before—write what is on our minds (clothes, drinking, boys, be skinny).
412: What are sorostitute stories?
SS: In a nutshell, sometimes when we drink too much we do stupid things, talk to GDIs, give out our number without discretion, hookup with bros and overall have too much fun. Our stories are our rules, our advice, our trials and tribulations with men, and basically our lives. Sorostitutes are just girls having fun at the four year party that some kids call college!
412: Where’s your favorite place to be on a Saturday in the fall?
SS: In bed. Not necessarily ours because we usually shack on Fridays. Fall is prime social time so nearly every Friday or Saturday night we are dating-partying, exchanging, or semi-formaling it up. So Saturday mornings and afternoons usually consist of nursing a hangover and falling in love with fratdaddies.
412: What’s your ideal spring break destination?
SS: Most girls our age would say something silly like PCB or Cancun. We prefer a more subdued place like Cabo San Lucas. Okay, but really anywhere the booze flows, the men are hot, and the sand is hotter. Also, it must be an all-inclusive because we don’t want to count money, ever.
412: Is Scott Disick the best dressed man in America?
SS: Part of me wants to say no but he has a great fashion sense. His fratfits (very fratty outfits) are sexy.
412: Who is the typical reader of SS? Are you surprised guys are reading the blog?
SS: Our typical readers are sorostitutes from all over the country. Most of our traffic comes from our Twitter, and the majority of our followers are sorority girls. It’s very surprising that guys read the blog, but at the same time if some fratdaddies made a site and divulged their secret inner thoughts, we would read it everyday. Although would there be much to read other than posts about beer, burgers, and boobs?
412: What are the goals of the Sorostitute Stories blog moving forward?
SS: It may sound cliché, but we just wanted to have fun when we started this. Hopefully we can build a steady audience, generate some buzz, and score a few frastars along the way. We definitely want a shout-out from totalfratmove.com, too!
Make sure to follow our semi adopted little sister’s twitter account @Sorostitutes and their super snarky blog Sorostitute Stories.
Notes
Kevin Rice, Syracuse recruit, profile via IL
Ravens fullback spits on Dolphin linebacker, will probably be fined $890,000
Working on two major efforts for 2011. Needed the night off. Thanks to the Sorositutes team for covering for me.
