The Corporate Malfeasance Series consists of an exhaustive search for intel from all the teams from one conference. No idea why its called the Corporate Malfeasance Series but it is. You don’t like it, get lost. The PNCLL kicks things off, why not start as far away from the home office?

Haven’t been able to stop thinking about the PNCLL for a few days now, thanks in part to a few schools in the conference being  on our grad school watch list, the fantastic Civil War football game, and of course the daily brain washing from the head bros at LAS (Oregon alums). This post originally intended to focus on Oregon State’s new website then we popped in a picture from Montana’s website and the idea spread like tiger flu (swine flu’s big brother, it’s brand new, you don’t want it).

Three further introductory announcements

1. We said all teams in the conference but Portland State went 0-9 last year in the conference and only played 1 out of conference game. Zero tolerance policy for teams that are stupid.
2. This is not designed to be a conference preview or a team preview. We don’t care who is going to finish 5th in the PNCLL. It’s just intel and commentary.
3. No idea what conference is next or when we will do it again. We do know corporate malfeasance is a serious matter.

New Website for Oregon State

What did we learn?

1. Of the 40 players on the roster, 33 are from Oregon. One is from East Aurora, New York. Wondering if he’s lost.
2. OSU scrimmages Oregon February 6th. What a fun way to start the season. Hope emotions stay in check.
3. According to their practice schedule, Monday through Wednesday from 6 to 8pm, they practice here
4. They have a separate website for their booster club. Smart.
5. They make their goalie save two balls at once during warmups.
6. From March 25 to March 26, they will be in San Diego. Lucky Beavers.
7. They  have a team store that has one item for sale. And its a good item.

The PNCLL tournament takes place April 24, May 1, and May 2. The higher tournament seed hosts the first round game. How would you feel if you’re Portland State you make the PNCLL for the the first time ever (not sure if that’s correct) then you have to pay your way to British Columbia to play Simon Fraser.

Another situation of the rich getting richer in the MCLA. The PNCLL is stupid.

Montana

This might be the greatest promo ad for a lacrosse tournament of ALL TIME. We’re going next year. They better have shirts.

The Grizlax Nation has been blah since making the jump to D1. The 2010 season won’t be an easier for Griz since defenses will be able to key in on attackman Jeremy Brown (New York), now that Sam Cameron and his 52 points are gone.

If Montana wants to improve, they need to be pushing their outdoors options on New England and Washington D.C. kids that either  a) want bigger mountains b) want to be able to fly fish c) want to partake in the social activities a young skiier or fly fisherman might do d) all of the above. Not a tough sell but you better have a coach who is committed (read: paid).

Currently the roster is a little too west/Mid west to be competitive at the MCLA D1 level.

One the better logos we’ve seen in a while. Beyond that UW’s website is pretty bare. The link for their schedule actually redirects you to the MCLA website. However, the site does post recent tweets for all to see.

We hope she wakes up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat from having a dream about how awkward she is.

According to the MCLA website, there were 21 players on UW last year, four were seniors including the starting goalie, the leading scoring, the only long stick listed on the roster, and a middie who chipped in 37 points. Are they that much different than an Oregon or a Florida? Not sure how they don’t have a  stronger recruiting presence in the area.

According to this article from WaLax: Head coach Stew Kerns commented on the new team dynamic “there is definitely a sense of direction and level of expectation that the team wants to be at.  I’m here to help them and guide them towards those goals.”  Their goal is simple- attend the national tournament.

That particular article also refers to the Huskies as the Dawgs. Ah, no. Huskies are beautiful, happy animals. They are not Dawgs. No matter how many times they beat USC.

Gonzaga

We are thinking about conducting a study in which the results will produce a chart similar to the terrorist attack meter created by the United States government. Only it will be for club lacrosse websites as way to predict the success of the team.

For instance, Gonzaga’s website would earn a rating of “Mid 90s Crayons.” Then you would check the “Mid 90s Crayons” portion of your chart and you would see the following analysis, “perennial loser who most likely had 5+ losing streak at some point in the season.”

We are still working on the logistics but are excited for launch.

During an 8 game losing streak last year, Gonzaga was out scored 94-54. They then went 5-2 before finishing the season with a 22-4 loss against the Canadians.

Now they are doing one thing that is really, really, really great, and we’re trying to steal it and use the idea at Pitt.

Gonzaga has their own student section which they call the Man Up Club. For a one time price of $20 students receive the following, free entry to man up functions, a Gonzaga lacrosse lanyard, a Man Up Club shirt, and free BBQ for every home game. What a brilliant idea, especially because they claim they had 200 members in the first year. Even if you don’t have 200 kids showing up to each home game you probably turned a profit of $1000.

Good thing we looked at Gonzaga’s website.

Portland State

Even if your combined score against the Ducks and the Canadians was 50-1, we can respect that quote for the 2010 season. Hopefully someone associated with the program notices the glaring typo.

The Parent Care Solution website tells us that quote was said by a settler on the Oregon Trail. If you think our wagon didn’t arrive in Oregon first during the 5th grade simulation you’ve got another thing coming. Not only did we decide to take the short cut, we forgot to bring a shovel/pick ax to clear the rock slide and we still finished in first place. That’s what we in the biz like to call, leadership.

Nothing wrong with this picture except 21 might not have a neck and we’ve had enough of Harrow. WHY ARE THE NUMBERS ON THE WHITE UNIFORMS SO FAR APART?

Best news for PSU? They only graduated one senior last year.

Washington State

This WSU’s roster and its NSFW.

Difficult to look at, have to feel bad for the kids that want to be apart of WSU lacrosse.

Dedication, commitment and a love of the game are required from both the students and the coaches. Nothing worth having comes easy.

Idaho

Headquarters has been running a weekly photo essay for the last two months with the promise of season long coverage provided by senior middie Krieg Shaw.

Consider these to be our favorite images from Moscow, Idaho.

One tv for gaming, one for watching. Bro Interior Decorating 101.

Indoor/outdoor field. Still confused/mesmerized by this facility.

WILDERNESS

Indoor Lax, why no elbow pads? Cross checking illegal in Moscow?

Snow. Gloomy skies. Welcome to Moscow.

Perhaps the greatest picture ever, until the Pitt gear arrives.

Not a huge fan of putting the date on your clothing, but we’d wear that if they sent some.

They have a coat of arms. How stupendous is that?

Click here for all of his posts.

Because of this photo blog, we have become increasingly more interested in Idaho as a grad school option even though our mother will say, “You hate the outdoors.” Whatevs, no telling what we might do to be apart of that coat of arms.

Very interested to know who makes up their roster in terms of where they are from because like Montana, Idaho seems like it could be a destination school (four  plus year vacation) for free spirits from N.E. etc.

Oregon

Have to fly, have to fight, have to crow, have to save Maggie, have to save Jack, Kerwin is back.

Get in the weight room Ducks! Uh, its a Mallard.

How many club programs force you to take weightlifting? Interesting.

Ducks or Mallards or Doves, they have the best video services in the country thanks to the infamous BHSVideoDad. Here is last years PNCLL final against SFU.

SFU

Last year, following their win over BYU (remember the team that beat D1 doormat Air Force in a scrimmage) and their undefeated season, we thought the Canadians were headed to a title game against Michigan.

We thought no chance an MCLA defense other than Michigan’s is going to figure out  how to slow down Foss & Towner. Unfortunately for the Canadians, they couldn’t figure out to stop Wooden and Martin of Chapman dropping the quarterfinal contest 15-14 in overtime.

Don’t believe how good their offense is, take a look at what they did to Oregon in the video above. Getting roughed up by BYU in fall ball without the services of Ben Towner may be just what the syrup loving lumberjack ordered for the 2010 season. It’s the Foss & Towner show but without secondary scoring and better goal keeping an early tournament exit awaits.

Want to talk SOS? The Canadians are a major injury away from losing 7 of 13 regular season games.

It’s an Olympic year. Yes we are calling SFU the Canadians all season. Before and after the Olympics. You don’t like it?

Boise State’s website is one of the worst in the country. Gonzaga, Montana, and Idaho should be ashamed that they lost to the Blue Turf Monsters. We aren’t talking about the Broncos ever again.

From Mashable.com’s 5 Best Youtube Sports Moments

One of the most fascinating performances by a female athlete of all time and one of the biggest blunders by a referee since…well two weeks ago when Martin Hansson swallowed his whistle in the France Ireland game.

Lost in the shuffle of the scalping was the moment at 0:34, when BYU’s freshman midfielder Carlee Payne all 5’4 of her, took it upon herself to remind the much larger and vindictive Lizzie Lambert that New Mexico was in fact losing.

We have become so enamored with Miss Payne that we recently sent her a very exclusive Facebook friend request.

The scoreboard point is almost as wonderful as what occurred in last year’s Stanley Cup Playoffs.

Drink it in, Philadelphia. Always goes down smooth.

Notes

• Paul Rabil gives Tiger Woods tips on cheating without cheating (BroBible)
• Let Tiger Chase His Tail T Shirt (BroBible)
• Kobe Lebron puppets are back (Nike)
• The Alicia Keys album drops December 15. Her version of Empire State of Mind is breathtaking.
• Created a Lacrosse Recruits coaching profile, trying to establish a pipeline to California
• Rhode Island is looking for a head coach, Lindenwood is looking for an assistant
• Lax.com continues to be the best lacrosse website, sick article on team defense
• Tim Tebow not getting a chance to win another title is devastating, this shirt doesn’t help (Red Label)