Final thoughts on Baltimore. Dr. Lou being ridiculous. Pitt Lax helmets. Jared Allen would beat Chuck Norris into submission. Let’s lax.

Balti Night Life Revisited

After surviving in a distant land we should have never entered the LAS staff attacked downtown Baltimore with an angry fist.

And by the that we mean, we stopped at the first watering hole that had iron bars protecting its windows.

Once again we did not pay attention to immediate warning signs. The bar was brightly light and only 12 people populated the inside. Keep in mind this was around 10 at night.

The bartender, sporting a late 90s spiked hair style and a horrific chin strap beard, nearly had a stroke when he saw a co-blogger’s Idaho license. “I’ve been bartending for eleven years and this is my first time dude.”

A few elderly white women were dancing in the corner near the jukebox.

And, my co-workers were thrilled the Trail Blazers game was getting ready to tip off. Great.

We were feeling antsy until we were presented with a 32 oz warhead of Bro Lite (Miller obvi) and were told it was only $4. Stunned. Like the first time we saw the original Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

The issues that we had issues with were eventually pushed to the back burner and we began to unwind from the experience at Milton’s and the initial disappointment from Peter’s. A bonnie lass in a purple shirt caught the attention of an LAS blogger. He promptly struck out but it would not be the last we would hear from her.

Less than an hour later, we watched the bartender, and the only employee in the establishment, vacate the bar area and traverse upstairs with Purple Shirt following closely behind.

Our fellow blogger couldn’t keep his emotions in check.

Like honestly bro, you got beat out by a bartender with a Backstreet Boys chin strap beard. No chance.

Our investigatory reporting skills kicked in and after eight minutes elapsed, we took to the stairs seeking answers and immediately ran out of confidence at the third step.  Red flag #2593 that we turned a blind eye towards.

It took maybe a full minute to climb to the top of the steps at which minute we reached the proverbial fork in the avenue. To the left was a large seating area with the lights off. Straight ahead was a closed door but it was quite clear the lights were in on in that room in more ways than one. If you catch our meaning.

We descended the steps with butterflies in our stomach and reported back to the crew.

New found mission in life is to visit every bar in the US named after us.

So far Pittsburgh and Baltimore have been haunted.

Dr. Lou cast a spell on us

The only video we will be watching more than Dr. Lou’s trick is Justin Bieber’s cover of “Heartless” and “Cry Me a River.”

So what if he sounds like a young pup. His SWAGGER level is greater than Favre’s in the Metrodome. Kid is swag surfin’ on the biggest wave known to man.

Pay close attention to LAS for more Dr. Lou video coverage.

Pitt Brine Helmets

When the decals arrive next week we’ll post the finished product.

Don’t look at the generator for our hyperbolic chamber in the top right corner.

Elevation Shooting Shirt

Mardi Gras Lax

STX Rebel Hopkins Gloves

Very similar look to the Ignitors from super early 2000

And according to STX, the blue is in fact a snake skin fabric design.

Not following Brandon Corp on twitter until he steps his game way up, sky high up.

Another twitter disaster.

Oops.

Three videos put us onto the Vikings bandwagon.

Jared Allen is a delight.

Pretty sure he is going to tackle a puma next trip.

Our roommate immediately began spear shopping after watching this video. A little bit of background on said roommate he calls himself “the original werewolf,” so hunting in new and interesting ways is nothing foreign to him.

Brett Favre raging post Cowboys game.

Tony Romo is a fading side show.

Datsyuk. Jesus.

My first child was born out of wedlock flow

Notes

Why do you love the game (Homegrown)

If you follow us on twitter you know we hate almost every football announcer on any network. But the coverage NBC provides for their hockey game of the week is down right Bubonic plague in your eye bad. (PuckDaddy)

We want Mark Sanchez’s poise (Deadspin)

Lebron, dunking is the only thing you are good at, please get a grip (ESPN)